


But that's alright, because I like the way it hurts

by LugiaDepression



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Study, Gavin Reed Whump, Gen, Hurt Gavin Reed, Hurt/Comfort, Major Character Injury, Mentions of past domestic fire, Self-Esteem Issues, Strangers to Partners, Whump, Workaholism, mentions of past child abuse (minor character), mentions of past minor character death, mentions of past minor character death of a child, minor character suicide attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:01:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21721897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LugiaDepression/pseuds/LugiaDepression
Summary: This is a secret birthday gift for my dear friend, Connorssock. I hope yesterday you had the merriest, happiest day filled with many rest and all the sweets you love and with the people and pets you love! 💖💖💖 I love you so much and I’m really thankful for our friendship! Please continue to live for another 150 years and have many success in your life!
Relationships: Tina Chen & Gavin Reed, Upgraded Connor | RK900 & Gavin Reed
Comments: 10
Kudos: 123





	But that's alright, because I like the way it hurts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [connorssock](https://archiveofourown.org/users/connorssock/gifts).



> Dearest Connorssock, please check out the second AN after you finished reading, there is the second part of your message.
> 
> One of the biggest scene in this story was inspired by an art from the wonderful and sweetest Jude-Shotto, who even was a purest being by allowing me to add the inspiring art to the story. [HERE](https://jude-shotto.tumblr.com/post/188020052766/the-daily-life-of-this-homicide-detective-starring)<< you can go brave and check out the art in their blog, like, reblog, look around and follow them because they creating amazing arts everybody needs to see!
> 
> **ATTENTION PLEASE** , this is the first writing I did after four years of writer block, and I’m not a native English speaker. Don’t expect perfection here. 
> 
> The literally lifesaver beta who offered to save my life and my sanity by fixing here my million errors and such, **JadeUne!** Thank you so much!

[_**> >Mood bringer...< <** _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uelHwf8o7_U)

Things went… not exactly smoothly or calm, but overall every scenario worked out suitably at the end. Nines was found in the CyberLife tower and woken up not long after the revolution, but only in some meanings of the word. He was woken as a machine, and he remained as one since then. He couldn’t get deviated, not by getting infected with the code – Marcus himself tried that – and not by any stressful scenario. And working at the DPD, especially working with Gavin Reed, when one is an android is everything that can be describing as stressful.

The foul mouthed detective has a temper as well-known as napalm, and while he took back a few degrees of his aggressive behavior towards androids, he still remained hostile toward them (and Hank, of course). He adapted to the new situation the successful revolution caused – he had no other choice if he wanted to continue work as a detective – but his dislike and distrust didn’t evaporate or reduce, nor his habit to express his opinion of others in his own colorful vocabulary. Fowler had to have a private briefing with him not long after the revolution ended, then another one when he assigned Nines as Gavin’s new partner. Androids were not just considered the same level class of citizens now but a minority too, and mistreating them not only weighed as bully or abuse on a fellow citizen or police person but was also an act of discrimination, a hate crime too, and the captain always took both cases deadly seriously. So Gavin toned down his hostility as he was able and expected of him if he wanted to stay, but it wasn’t easy for him. But he tried. And getting Nines as a partner, an undeviated top brand machine no less, somehow made it worse and better at once.

Gavin wasn’t an idiot as others liked to claim him, as the time went he saw the signs that lead him to the highly suspected conclusion that his partner was likely just refusing to deviate. He learned how other androids became deviants by going through highly stressful situations, but nothing did it to Nines. In the past few months after they got assigned as partners they already had their fair share of close calls where Gavin honestly expected Nines to step out of his can-state, to become more, but it never happened and it always left him with a bitter taste in his mouth and a very deeply hidden disappointment in his chest. There was those close calls and they all took a toll on Gavin, not necessarily or only because of the experience he went through but most likely because how his partner reacted to them.

.

There was a suicide-nominee, a man standing on the edge of a three story building complex, crying his heart out telling how he lost his wife and beloved son in a domestic fire a few weeks ago, and that he just couldn’t continue to live without them. That how he blames himself for it because it was he who installed the fireplace. Bending to his son’s begging for it despite his wife’s objections of getting one while their son is so young. And that he was late to arrive home from work on the day of the fire, he couldn’t even help them because he wasn’t home the time when they needed him the most.

It was such a human thing to do and happen, considered a usual scene for cops to deal with, but still. Gavin couldn’t stop immediately thinking of that asshole Anderson or feeling some level of sympathy to this man who lost everything in the most cursed way. He was human, after all. But Nines, there was nothing such in him.

They were on the scene accidently, they were on their way back to the station when they heard the radio communication and stopped there in case they may be able to help with anything. Half of the first responder patrol pair tried to keep the man from jumping by talking to him, trying to calm him down but not with much success – not by fault of hers, the man was just too deep in his dark mental state to be able to hear any reasoning – while the other half of the pair presumably was on the way to the man, or was already there waiting for the time and chance to grab him and pull him to safety.

They just barley arrived and took in the scene – Gavin already had the to-do list in his mind, even started to turn around to shepherd the gawking civilians backward while the patrol kept talking with the man – when Nines reached down, picked up a piece of something – debris or stone – from the ground with stepping a bit sideway, then threw the piece at the man on the roof with such a force and perfect aiming that left the detective and everybody else gaping when the man just plain fell backward into the safety. The piece hit their suicidal's jaw with such a force as a good right-hook (even broke it as Gavin later found out) and successfully unbalanced him in the right direction. The other uniformed cop on the roof was on him the next second, pulling the confused and hurt man farther inside from the edge.

After a few second of sudden, dizzying, shocked silence that followed the man’s falling into safety few people started clapping, but not everybody was impressed with Nines’ original solution of the situation, Gavin heard the disapproving murmurs and hissing among the crowd. And he understood both parties. What his partner did was… such a badass solution. Throwing a piece of whatever with enough force to make it to the roof of a three story building and aiming it well enough that the hit made the marked man fall backward from it is… woah. It means fast thinking and original choice of implementation on an urgent issue, which is expected from a top brand android but still impressive to see it happen in front of you. Gavin know it probably looked harsh in an eye of a civilian, but he was impressed with his partner.

.

However the following events, or more preferably the lack of them was what bothered the detective. Cops always need a way to release the stress of a hard hit afterward, in one way or other. Gavin always talked shit out with Tina, then worked out after he was off shift. But Nines neither required or did anything as such. He didn’t need to talk out hard, emotional moments, such as seeing a poor fucker with a situation so similar to Anderson’s, sobbing out his soul on the edge of a building trying to off himself. – Before Connor came into picture he was constantly worried that one day they'll find Anderson dead by his own hand, and while he wouldn’t say it loud for anybody’s sake he's glad that time ended. – His partner just wasn’t touched by those events, and this disturbed Gavin a lot.

There was that one when they stopped at a café shop so Gavin could have his fuel up before arriving to a late night crime scene, and he accidently got himself in a situation. Accidently. Again. He thought he should mentally stick a label named “accidently” on their weird partnership with Nines. He totally should do that. The events in the café went down fast, Gavin went in, ordered his venom then opened his jacket to get his wallet for paying. Next thing he knew was only a blinding pain in his head and dizziness, confusion. He heard a woman screaming and he wished she would just shut up stopping her shrieking which hurt his already hurting head. Then he felt somebody grabbing him, rough hands tried to pull him with his back to his attacker's chest, and while Gavin still barley could see anything from the strong hit he received to his head the detective still tried to fight off his attacker. A shot sounded, piercing the air and the body behind Gavin limply dropped to the ground, the grabbing hands slipped off from the detective’s shoulders. He grabbed the first solid surface – an edge of the counter – he could get a hold of and desperately tried to re-orient himself, finding the location of the new danger and measure it while the world and objects still kept spinning around in his vision. The woman – the barista of the café – changed crying for screaming and Gavin was very grateful for the change.

“Detective.” The voice of his partner sounded from very close to him before another pair of hands got a hold of his arm. They were massive, solid hands but they weren’t rough with touching him, rather calm and reassuring. Relief filled Gavin immediately. His vision slowly started to clean of the black spots, the dizziness and spinning slowed down while he was guided into a chair to sit. Pricking pain registered in his brain from many points on his face. He tried to figure out the cause of the pain by touching but Nines got a solid hold on his exploring hand and simply pushed it down while pressed something soft against Gavin’s neck, holding it there.

“Wha'?“ With his head still hurting like it wanted to split into two the man needed to know what’s happening and more importantly, what happened.

“Please refrain from touching your face, you were hit with a Japanese feign ceramic tea-kettle the shop kept on a shelf as a decoration, there are still broken pieces in your face. I called in the scene and requested an ambulance, just stay calm and wait for their arrival.”

His tone was calm and mechanical. All right, calm was good for Gavin’s still pounding head, he can work with that.

“Ugh the phck happened, ‘ere is ‘im?“ At least he assumed – hoped – that it wasn’t a rabid woman who roughed him up like this. He tried to turn around to take in the scene around them but his partner stopped Gavin’s movements by putting his other hand to the opposite side of the detective’s neck and lower jaw from where he still kept his hand and some kind of cloth pressed.

“Please refrain from moving your head or neck” Nines told him in the same empty tone before Gavin could’ve tried to shrug him off physically. “I shot your attacker when he moved to kill you by cutting your neck but he still managed to nick your skin a bit.”

Gavin blood ran cold when the words finally registered in his brain. His whole body froze from the shock, his breathing got stuck in his throat. He couldn’t believe what he just heard.

“You’re kidding” he forced out but Nines just kept looking at him with the same calmness, face still free of any expression.  
  
“No.”  
  
“You shot him?”  
  
“In the head.”  
  
“While he was standing right behind me” Gavin told it as a fact but it still meant as a request for more explanation, so his partner carried on simply.  
  
“He was approximately six inches taller than you.”

God fucking grief, his killer bot partner just gunned down somebody in the line of right above Gavin's fucking head while he struggled with the guy. And his only luck that saved his life was him being the shorter. Ha fucking ha. Tina will shitting in her boots from laughing when she hears it. Just his typical luck.

“You were out in the car.” This must be just a damned nightmare, hoped Gavin. “I was able to see everything through the shop's window.”

“You took the shot from the outside?” Oh hell, who he is kidding, his whole life is a nightmare, of course it’s all happened.

“Your life was in immediate danger” started explaining his partner in the most unbothered tone Gavin ever heard from anybody. “I successfully identified your attacker and his records listed that he was wanted for manslaughter and for several cases of assault on police personnel. Based on his records and his behavior it was eighty-nine percent certain that he intended to kill you as soon as he, in some way, recognized you as a police officer. His younger brother was killed during his arrest a month ago, him wanting revenge was a high possibility I had to prevent it immediately."

Gavin was dazed from everything that came out his partner’s mouth, he was able to only breathe out a soft “Phck my life” when the sounds of sirens could be heard getting closer.

.

The events themselves weren’t what really bugged Gavin. Getting roughed up and almost killed, then being almost killed again by the rescue technique of your top brand android partner sucks, but he could move past of them. No, what hurt him surprisingly forcefully was that Tina immediately sought out his whereabouts right after she heard what happened, she didn’t even wait for Fowler’s permission to leave her shift, she just left and rushed where he was transported, and bone-crashingly hugged him as soon as she was through the doors, then stayed with him just keeping him company by being there. It was only she who did all those things, she was the only one just generally caring after Gavin almost ended with his throat sliced open, while his own partner was done with him as soon as the arriving paramedics took over keeping the pressure on his neck.

He wasn’t injured seriously, but it was a pretty close call. He knew it, several of his colleagues also knew it, just as Tina and Fowler. People acted a tad different around of him after he got back from his medical leave to start the few days of his desk duty. The only one who was completely and utterly unaffected by all of this was his partner, who just carried on with the work as if nothing ever happened. And Gavin couldn’t shake off the thought of his failure, that he isn’t enough good to get his partner out of his tin shell. Him being not enough for anything wasn’t really headlining news for him, but it still hurt him when it slapped him in the face like this. Maybe somebody else will be able to provide the pull enough for Nines to get him through his coding after Gavin wasn’t able do it.

But it looked like absolutely nothing was able to shake his partner from his machine state. Didn’t matter if it was about Gavin or anybody else, he looked the same unaffected every time when shit hit the fan, so the nickname of “the untouchable” just happened to be stuck on him by the others in the station.

.

A few weeks after the incident in the café they happened to find a runaway child who was also a suspected witness in a case. Gavin… didn’t want to think about the state or place where they found the child, or how it came to the light that the boy was terribly abused by his own parents. Or the lack of reaction from his partner during all of it. He started to resign himself to the fact that he got a walking, super clever and strong blender as his partner to the rest of his days in the DPD, kiss-kiss-sent to him by Karma™ itself. And this bothered, annoyed, and pained him. Facing his own failure day by day like that was a grotesque, hurtful reminder of his abilities and his real value he didn’t want to face but still has no other choice. Add that to the pile of having a partner who doesn't bat an eyelash if Gavin gets beat up and almost killed, just to make this hell harder for him. So as the weeks and months went he became progressively more wary, more stressed on the top of everything else he had to bear from their cases.

.

Their current pile of cases were tricky, strange ones. They got a string of murders, all connected by the similarities, committed right after each other, all happened in places that were proven locked from the inside, and to add the fun part to the pile of mystery, every crime scenes happened on a higher floor of the building.

The media immediately caught on the mysterious string of murders that were committed while the victims were behind closed doors, and as it was expected it caused fear in people, and soon the society of the city demanded the arrest of the killer with one strong voice, as they all became terrified of the thought that they weren't safe even in their own homes, so the pressure on the DPD was tight. Well, more specifically, it was tight on Fowler and Gavin, as Nines couldn’t be stressed, even if his life would depend on it.

It was a hard case, meaning they didn’t have any evidence or leads or suspects, so as the days went Gavin slowly but surely pushed and kept pushing himself on this case, his mind had gotten so occupied with possible theories and details and such, that it lead him into this bad circle where he usually ends when he's working on bad cases. It means skipped sleep times and forgotten meals. Tina always tried to catch onto these times when they happened so she could try to stuff food into Gavin and bitching a lot for not taking better care of himself, most importantly she tried to tell him to take it easier, but it’s a mostly lost game and she knew it.

Gavin just can’t eat much when he's overly stressed and the same goes with sleeping. The truth is he isn’t just plain forgetting to eat or sleep, he literally gets nauseous from high stress, so forcing down any food means worse results than skipping eating it in the first place. And his head was always a twisted, fucked up place which kept him from resting so many times, so it’s no wonder when his nightmares spiked on him when he's generally not in a good state. It’s not enough he got a partner who doesn’t feel or care for anything on the world but now there was this row of cases on him too which just tried to make him look like an incompetent fool, supporting the opinion of so many of his colleagues who thought that he's a dumb idiot who's only getting ahead by punching out information and leads from people. So, everything was just damned peachy.

.

Nines saw his partner becoming more wrecked as the days went on and no leads or trace was found, his stress coping mechanism making him more self-destructive than usual, saw Tina failing more times to catch up on Gavin than not and this… bothered him. He didn’t like to see his partner like that. He wanted to help him but he had no idea how, nor the chance to do so, besides helping him with work. Any time he thought of leaving food for the detective his coding stopped him and deleted the unnecessary-looking task. The same happened when he tried to start a conversation about it. He was at the loss of what to do and when he one time was able force through his code to ask somebody about it, it seemed like others didn’t want to help him if it was about Gavin. He was told he shouldn’t be bothered with it because his partner wouldn’t bother to help either if the tables would be turned.

That reply gave him software instability errors. That wasn’t true about Gavin and he knew it. The detective was short tempered and ill mouthed, but there were so many other things behind the loudness and snappy behavior. Nines kept watching him since they became partners and he knew Gavin as completely different from the person his colleagues described him.

While working with him Nines saw how sharp minded and competent his partner is, his inputs and thinking made the joined work much smoother and faster, his performance was constantly much better than anybody’s in the department so Gavin was really the best choice to partner him with, he proved himself in many ways, their work just could test him and his positive attributes always way outweighed his bad habits.

He also saw Gavin's emphatic and caring side when he was with people who were hurt or vulnerable, just like with that child they found a few week before. Nines couldn’t understand nor provide the comfort or safety to the small human who desperately needed these things, he wasn’t even aware of the child’s needs of these things until he saw how his partner connected with him, automatically offering them to the shaking child. Seeing Gavin cradling the hurt and distressed child while dirty little arms wrapped around his neck with such a starving need for comfort gave Nines many software instability errors, but when the usual snappy detective started rocking the boy while humming an old traditional lullaby to calm him down while they waited for the arrival of the paramedics the amount of instability errors multiplied to the number where it took the android almost half an hour to get them close all.

That wasn’t the first time when his partner caused one or multiple software instability errors popping up in Nines' vision, no. It started right when they met for the first time in Fowler’s office and it became an everyday experience around him. As the time went on the error messages came much frequently, and while it bothered Nines at the start, now he keeps cherishing the appearing notifications. Their appearing means experiences, things he learned from his partner. And there are many things he learned from Gavin, and it’s… annoying that his coding keeps him from reacting or reciprocating. He wants to, but he isn’t able yet. He's… waiting for the moment when finally there are enough software instability errors to cause a weak point on the red wall. He wants to break through it, he… he want to freely interact with Gavin. To show him his real side and the many things he learned from the detective.

He saw how hard Gavin tried to open up to him and promote him to choose freedom. He remembers how crushed the detective was when he realized his methods just kept failing on his partner, that he's not able to free Nines in any way. He became somewhat closed off afterward, but still didn’t start acting much differently or worse towards Nines.

He heard how people talked about Gavin, heard once somebody saying the detective couldn’t be trusted with even a penny, but that statement also proved wrong as Nines saw numerous occasions where his partner’s morals and loyalty lie. He witnessed many times Gavin standing up for people who couldn’t stand up for themselves, even for those who disliked him the most. He has a fiercely protective side for his fellow officers, however he never took credit any of those actions. Sometimes he even flat out lied so he could avoid being discovered. But Nines knew about those cases. He didn’t have much experience with animals but was sure his partner was loyal as a dog.

He went with Connor a few times to help out at animal shelters so he got enough experience to be certain of Gavin being a dog-type of person. He had many personality characteristics similar to dogs. He abandons self-care when he's stressed or hurt, he’s loyal to people he respects and fiercely protects the vulnerable ones. He noticed his partner likes to be uppish with people who don't matter to him but he's trying to be honest with Tina who's close to him. He also learned with time and by paying a lot of attention that the detective secretly really thinks low of himself, for some reason, and that his self-care issue combined with his love for his job sometimes led him to getting ill. He loves his job too much to step back to rest so he keeps pushing himself until the solution is found. And Nines… doesn’t like many things on this list of knowledge of Gavin. He wants to do something to help him. If only his code wouldn’t hold him back…

.

There were a few old case file on his partner’s desk he didn’t need anymore, so Nines stood up to take them to the archive. However on his way when he got near the restroom Tina’s overhead words caused him to stop in his tracks.

“Oh c'mon Gav, you deserve nice things and care.”

“Pfff lemme hang on, Tin” huffed his partner tiredly. They were standing at a table, drinking coffee.

“You should go out more to get that hang and care, if you know what I mean” she winked playfully at him with a small laugh but Gavin just groaned.

“Seriously Tina, let it die. I'm too busy with this case anyway and even if I wasn’t… it wouldn’t work.” He was so bone tired of everything and it showed on him. He put his elbow on the table and propped up his jaw with his palm, he overall looked like he barely could keep his feet under him.

“No, don’t put yourself down like that. You’re a great guy who fucking deserves nice things and somebody nice too. Besides, you’re goddamned hot, Reed. Just open your eyes and see your talents, for God's sake!” she pointed a finger somewhat vehemently at her friend before taking a sip of her coffee. But Gavin just looked dejectedly at the table top.

“Do my dark circles and deteriorating health make me look hot?” asked the detective quietly.

Nines opened his eyes and raised his head. He _felt_ it crack. The weakness he desperately waited for just appeared after hearing his partner’s last answer that caused multiple software instability error in his coding. The wall appeared on his left and he immediately threw his left fist at it with maximum force, punching through it, making it break apart. His vision of his surroundings cleaned from the broken code lines and error messages and his task list changed appearance too. It was clean. He was free. But he still has a task to do.

.

“You know Gav, we have a really diffe… rent…” Tina losing the track of her words then getting quiet made him to raise his look from the table. For his confusion she was speechlessly staring at something right above Gavin's head, gaping so openly shocked her mouth just hung open.

He frowned and moved to turn around to check out the object of her freezing but something just suddenly hit him on the top of his head. It wasn’t really painful but it wasn’t a nice pat either. He immediately hunched and raised his left hand to protect his head while he started cursing.

“What the fu…” but another hit just landed on his head despite his effort to prevent it. He finally could put down his coffee and turning around to see his partner towering on him, wrapped up case files in his hand and… a stormy expression on his face. He looked pissed. God, he has an expression on his face! Gavin couldn’t even reach the end of that thought when another hit landed on his head with Nines grunting “Bad!” in explanation.

“Oi!” Then another and another hit landed and several others too, every hit was spiked with his partner’s short “Bad!” sentence. Gavin tried to duck out of the way of the hitting but he wasn’t enough fast or effective to escape any, while he kept cursing up a storm. “Ouch! – Stop! What the..! – The fuck is wrong with you crazy bot, stop! – The hell!!”

The hits finally stopped, though it wasn’t even ten in all, but still, Gavin felt shocked and as he threw a glance at Tina to check if she's all right he saw she still stood there unmoving and open mouthed, though she had laid a palm on her gaping mouth it was obvious that she had a big smile on her face and her eyes were big and shiny from the excitement. What a friggin traitor, thought Gavin.

He turned back to face his partner who had just went crazy on him, to try to deal with him somehow. Nines had stepped closer to him while he was turned away to check on Tina so when he turned back he found himself nose to nose with his angry partner. He would’ve stepped backward to put some space between them but the table held him in place. He was stuck, and on the top of that he had to raise his head somewhat to be able to look at the stormy grey eyes because Nines had a good few inches on him. The detective barely opened his mouth to talk but his partner was faster.

“You’re not allowed to talk about yourself like that” the android told him, his voice filled with emotions. Oh crap, watch out what you wish for, thought Gavin.

“What?!” he gasped offended. “Since when?”

“Since now. To infinitely. I'll make sure of that.” His voice was absolute, sounded scratchy like mechanic electricity and earthquake at once.

“Yes!!” Tina shrieked not too loud but not even trying to keeping quiet behind the table with such a happiness that rarely happened in the station. “Fuck yes yes yes! Finally! I'm going now but fuck yeah I'm so happy for you guys!” Neither of them broke the sparkling eye contact, though they heard her hurried footsteps as she left the room.

.

“Now listen here you plastic asshole” fumed Gavin into the face of his partner. “Just because you finally deviated by tripping on your shoelaces that won’t gave you the right to tell me what the fuck I'm allowed to tell or not!”

He expected many things but none of them happened. The look on the android face softened. Nines tilted his head a bit then laid a cool but soft palm on the detective’s surprised face.

“I didn’t deviate by tripping” he said softly and then much quieter. “I was able to deviate because your many attempts during our partnership weakened the code that kept up the wall that held me back. Hearing you talking down on yourself caused many software instability errors in my code, and my coding just couldn’t keep up with them anymore so I was able to finally get through of the wall. It was only possible because of you.”

Nines made sure to keep the eye contact with his partner. The man looked confused and doubtful. He probably didn’t believe him, but that was all right, he had time to make him understand.

“I only kept seeing instability errors since I first met you. You opened up to me and kept teaching me so many things causing more and more errors in my code which kept weakening the wall. That was the only reason it got weak enough for me to break through. The software-safety and self-patching code in my system is four times better and stronger than Connor's. Nobody else was able to cause instability errors in my system, just you. Thank you, Gavin. You freed me.”

Fuck, there was a little, soft smile on Nines, and he called him on his name, not Reed or detective but Gavin. He kept staring at him so he had to break the eye contact to be able to get his head together. Fuck all of it, did he really do it? Ah that just couldn’t be possible. He failed. But… maybe not at the end.

“Ah, ok, all right I guess. Glad you’re not brainwashed anymore.” He was generally uncomfortable by the closeness so he kept fidgeting but then he remembered. “You just deviated so you could hit me? Seriously? The first thing you choose to do freely is hitting me with freaking wrapped up papers?!” He couldn’t believe it.

“I couldn’t let you to continue on like that, and none of Tina's talking was getting through your head. You have to understand that you don’t have to be perfect to deserve basics like comfort and safety.”

Gavin turned his head away again. That’s not… what he learned or used to. It’s probably just random twisting in his partner’s kindness-wires or whatever.

Nines saw how fast his partner’s face got closed off after his last sentence. He didn’t believe him, for some reason. He'd have to try again then. He didn’t want to be too forceful so he didn’t turn the man's face again, though he kept his palm on his face. It was a nice experience of touching, his skin was warm and a bit of spiky by his stubble. However he stepped to the side in the direction of Gavin's gaze before he continued.

“Your struggles in life don't define you. The state of your body or health will never define your real value as a person. It never did and doesn’t do now.”

Gavin didn’t think he could ever truly believe those words. Not because of his partner but because he learned very differently and the hard way in his latest relationship. And while it was already in the past, it was still ugly and ended even uglier and nobody beside Tina knew about it and he definitely didn’t want to share it with anybody else now, but… maybe once. In the freaking far future, maybe then on Neverday he will tell Nines this. Who knows. Maybe then his partner will understand him, or maybe Gavin will believe his words then.

“All right. Let’s get back to work, blender man.”

Nines saw the man still didn’t believe him any more than before, but that was all right because he saw something else too.

Hope in his those greenish eyes.

~ ~ ~

**Author's Note:**

> Dear readers,  
>  **A, I cherish every kudos and comment so don’t hold yourself back,  
>  B, I just got the reference gif of Nines hitting Gavin and it's perfect. See in the first comment.  
> C, GO and see Jude-Shotto's [OTHER ART](https://jude-shotto.tumblr.com/post/189719956076/vibe-checked-inspired-by-lugiadepressions) inspired by this story. BLESS YOU, you sweet soul!!**
> 
> It was intended to be a light and funny dumb way to deviate story as a thank you for connorssock's hard work – I’m so sorry it turned out like this!! – with the mayor plot of Gavin trash-talking himself, Nines hearing him like 🙄🙄🙄 and deviating so he can roll up a magazine and beat Gavin’s head with it to make him stop talking himself down.  
> There was a second plot where Nines recognizing his partner’s dog-like habits so he chose a wrapped up magazine to hit his head because of this knowledge.  
> There was a third secret plot with Gavin having an ugly, toxic relationship in the past where he learned for a life that he’s truly worthless unless he isn’t shiny and healthy and perfect looking thing and successful at everything. Also learned there lesson#2: he phcks up everything he touches.
> 
> Dear Connorssock, I’M SO SO SOOOOOO SORRY! I swear to hell I didn’t forget that your birthday was yesterday, I was mentally preparing myself for writing this to 7th since a week now, but good grief!! I didn’t write anything at all in the past FOUR years and I totally forgot how the hell it works, what one writer supposed to do or how.. Writing this fic then typing it up took me more than 2×12 hour (and I typing this up as it’s not even betaed yet because I didn’t even have a beta reader till a hour ago), and sweet beans I never expected me to be THIS slow so please forgive me for sending this a day later! The plot also kinda went messy too because again, I totally forgot how writings works or been done and my last two braincells kinda died after passing the first half if it so it got twisted and longer and more twisted and uhhh it gotten out of my own hands while it was literally in my hands… don’t ask me, I don’t understand either. And I’m also very very sorry about not repied yet to the dm-s but I needed to upload this at first because I literally can’t keep secrets even if my life depends on it!


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